Brotherly Love
by princess-julies
Summary: Before he really thought about what he was doing, his feet were carrying him quickly away. He had no food, no water, no supplies whatsoever.


Author Notes: Ok, for the sake of being somewhat professional (I don't think that word even applies here ^^;;), I am going to put in all the stuff I'm actually supposed to! Yay!  
  
Summary: You read it already, didn't you? That's why you're here, right?  
  
Pairings/Ships: Vash and Knives. Yeah, it's twincest. Deal with it or don't read it. Actually, this chapter is more like PRE-twincest, so it probably wouldn't squick anyone too bad.  
  
Disclaimer: Well, firstly, I have to mention that no totoros or any other fictional character were harmed in the making of this story. Unless you want to count Rem as a creature, but even she isn't actually harmed during the course of this fic.  
  
Furthermore, I would like all of you to know that it would be quite useless trying to sue me for copyright infringement and all that since I'm already in debt (rather pathetic in itself for a 15 year old) to my little sister.  
  
That being said, I suppose I should tell you all that none of these characters belong to me. They belong to. Well, I don't remember who, but it certainly isn't me. If I owned them, well, lets say it never would have become a show, at least not one for the same type of audience. :3 . So, enjoy, or don't enjoy. That's really up to you.  
  
Final words before I start the damn thing: Any flames.. Errrr.. Sorry, complaints can be emailed to me at jules_rivette@hotmail.com. Or you could just be lazy and post them in my reviews ^_^/. Now, to the fic!!!!! ............................................................................ ............................  
  
"Knives.. You aren't human!"  
"Damn straight, I'm not! Don't even compare me to those worthless things!"  
  
Knives' words echoed in Vash's head as he struggled to his feet.  
  
"You hit me" he whispered in disbelief. His brother had always been kind to him in the past. He had always protected him from things like that, not done them himself. He felt tears well up in his eyes despite his efforts to stop them. Knives looked just as surprised as Vash at what he had done.  
  
"Vash" he began apologetically, raising a hand to touch Vash's reddened cheek.  
  
"NO! Don't touch me!" Vash cried, turning his back to his twin. "You killed her! You killed Rem!"  
  
By now there were tears rolling freely down his face. He remembered the crazed look on his brother's face only moments before, and a strong grip of fear of his twin overcame his grief.  
  
Before he really thought about what he was doing, his feet were carrying him quickly away. He had no food, no water, no supplies whatsoever. He didn't even know where he was going. He just knew he couldn't stay with Knives.  
  
He heard his brother call after him, but he ignored him and kept going. He went on for miles, running until he felt he couldn't run any further, and then pushed himself on for several more miles. Hot tears stung his eyes and blurred his vision. But still he ran on. He couldn't go back.  
  
Sometime around dawn he collapsed by a sand dune and fell into an exhausted sleep. Visions of blood and torture filled his sleep with terror, and right in the center of these nightmares, for the first time in his life, was Knives, mutilating the people they had lived with, and violating Rem.  
  
He woke up in the early afternoon of the next day with his entire body aching, and swollen, tear stained cheeks. By some means he knew that Knives had felt his terror the night before, and had woken with him to the terrible visions in his sleep, and somehow, that made him seem at once more terrifying, and yet more comforting to him.  
  
His aching body brought him out of the trance that thought had led him into, and he let out a soft moan of pain. His limbs shook from exhaustion and hunger as he slowly raised himself to his feet. At first his suffering made him feel afraid, and alone, but the more he thought about it, the more he agreed with his decision of the previous night.  
  
"Knives is wrong about me" he muttered feverishly "I can make my own decisions. I don't need him in my life". Thinking of Knives gave him a momentary pang of loneliness, but he pushed the thought away quickly in favor of worrying about his more immediate problem.  
  
The disturbance that the wreckage of the SEEDS ships had on the atmosphere was devastating. The sky was a fiery red and the clouds were dark grey, and thick with trapped debris and moisture. Already the winds were whipping around at alarming speeds, and causing the sand of the desert planet to beat painfully at anyone unfortunate enough to be out in the open. The heavens were rapidly darkening as the clouds gathered closer, and the wind was picking up to even higher speeds. They promised dangerous weather, and Vash did not want to be outside when it came. He had to find shelter.  
  
After a few moments of searching, he found a small cave that he hoped would hold out against the coming onslaught. He had no time to look for a better alternative. The storms were there. The cave would have to suffice.  
  
Vash didn't know how long he had waited out the storm in his tiny shelter, hunched over his small fire, but it seemed like years. The sand filled the air around him with no regard to any barriers. The wood he had piled as a makeshift door in the entrance to the cave had hardly slowed down the tempest. It came in through every opening there was, even the ones invisible to his eyes.  
  
It didn't stop there. It tore at his clothes and skin, and filled his lungs with stifling hot air, and sand crushed to powder by the barriers it had passed through. It prevented him from seeing anything but the pitiful flames guttering in the strong winds before him, and he was hardly able to protect the fire from going out altogether.  
  
The storm was unrelenting, and he couldn't feel the time passing as he sat there. There was no difference between day and night in his little world, only pain, and the howling fury of the storm about him. It was all surreal, and he felt detached, like it was happening to someone else. When the winds finally died down, and the world returned to normal, he didn't even notice at first. In the end it was the pain that brought him back to complete consciousness.  
  
His body was screaming in agony for some nourishment. His mouth was as dry as the climate in the deserts around him, and his stomach was angrily gnawing at its own lining. He noted those physical pains with agitation, and returned to ignoring them, but he couldn't ignore his loneliness. He grappled with is emotions silently for a long while, until he could finally deal with them no longer. Then he began to cry.  
  
He wasn't entirely positive at first who he missed the most, but then the answer came to him, and hit him with more power than the storms could ever hope to duplicate. He missed Knives. He thought of all the times his brother had held him when he cried, and talked with him late into the night, just for company's sake, and a fresh wave of despair rolled over him.  
  
"Knives" he whispered to the heavy, still air of the cave. The word carried more emotions in it than he though it was possible for one human to feel. Not that he was human.  
  
But he couldn't go back. He killed Rem. HE KILLED REM! She was the closest thing to a mother that either of them would ever have, and Knives had taken that away from him. He had taken that from them both. Vash wasn't sure he would ever be able to forgive him. So, instead of returning to his brother, or looking for some form of food or water, he stubbornly sat there by the dying fire waiting for his own death to relieve his grief. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------  
  
Knives found him there, curled in the fetal position and hidden in the shadows, a week later. Somehow he had managed to survive all that time without any food or water. He was, however, in no condition to move and was unconscious from his lack of nourishment. He also appeared to have lost at least ten pounds since they had parted. In short, he looked awful.  
  
Without stirring the smaller boy, Knives covered him up carefully with the heavy blankets he had brought along with him. Then he lit a fire and started to prepare a meal for them both. He did all this silently, but the look on his face would tell anyone that he had a lot he wanted to say to his younger sibling. With a pained look on his face, he stroked his twin's forehead and gently woke him up.  
  
"Vash, it's time for you to wake up. Come on" he called quietly. Vash woke up, but was having a bit of difficulty trying to sit up straight. Knives took sympathy on him, and helped the shaking boy into a sitting position.  
  
Vash was so weak that Knives had to help him eat and drink. The meal took over an hour at the speed he had to go at. Knives didn't seem to mind though, and he hardly took his eyes off his sick brother.  
  
"I'm sorry" he said finally, when Vash had eaten, efficiently breaking he uncomfortable silence that had been building between them. His voice wavered slightly as he looked into the other boy's eyes, which were now filled with tears threatening to spill over.  
  
Vash said nothing. He just turned his face from Knives as if he couldn't bear to look at him.  
  
"Vash. Please, say something" Knives pleaded. His words sounded desperate and unsatisfactory to his ears.  
  
"You aren't sorry" Vash said hoarsely, with a voice that showed it had been overused, and not been cared for in any way. "You hated them all. You're glad they're dead. You wanted everyone to die."  
  
"Of course. You're right. You misunderstand me." Knives said, his voice now taking on a slightly depraved quality that contrasted greatly with Vash's own haunted one. "I'm glad they're dead. I would kill them again if I were given the chance. I'm not sorry for what I did to them I will never be sorry for that. They were all disgusting creatures, and the rest of their pathetic species should have perished along with them. What I am sorry for is hurting you. I never wanted you to suffer."  
  
Vash opened his mouth as if he were about to reply, but suddenly closed his mouth. Knives was given a split second to realize something was wrong before his brother collapsed in front of him.  
  
Losing the insane expression he previously wore, he immediately ran over to where his brother lay. His face crumpled in concern when his hand enclosed his brother's exposed shoulder. He was burning up.  
  
Without pausing to think twice, he began caring for his twin. He got him back into bed, and made a sort of nest out of the blankets, then tore off a piece of his own clothing. He soaked it in water, and then placed it on Vash's hot forehead. When he was convinced that his brother would survive the night, he climbed into the blankets with him. It took him a long time, but he finally fell into a light slumber.  
  
He woke up within an hour in a state of complete terror, but after a moment of confusion, he realized it wasn't his own. Vash was having nightmares again. Frowning, Knives shook him softly from his sleep.  
  
"Vashu. You're having nightmares again" he whispered softly in his ear. He instinctively started stroking his hair as he had so many times before, when they were on board the SEEDS ship.  
  
The smaller boy's eyes snapped open. His expression was one of total alarm. He shoved Knives from him with all the strength he could muster as tears started rolling down his face once again.  
  
Vash was weakened though, and Knives wasn't about to let himself be pushed away. With a look bordering on hysterical, he put his arms around Vash and pulled him close to himself as he had always done to comfort him. He could Feel his brother relaxing, and he slowly relaxed as well. He had been afraid that Vash hated him.  
  
"I tried. I want to hate you. I really do, but I can't" Vash said tearfully.  
  
Knives wasn't particularly surprised that Vash knew what he had just been thinking. They had always shared a link that allowed them to Feel and know what the other was thinking or feeling at the time. They had always been something more than brothers. Knives rubbed slow circular patterns on his twin's back for a few moments before replying.  
  
"I missed you" he said at last. He was surprised by the emotion in his voice. Vash looked him in the eyes finally, and silence once again grew between them. This time though, it was a comfortable, understanding silence. It was a loving silence.  
  
Then Knives did the unthinkable. He kissed Vash. They had kissed before, but those had just been brotherly kisses, done in complete innocence, meant to do nothing more than comfort.  
  
This kiss was different. He hadn't planned on doing it, but the second he did it, he knew he didn't regret it. He put everything he felt for Vash behind the kiss. He wanted Vash to feel the love and passion he had for him, and how afraid he had been when Vash left him. How he had thought of nothing else until they were together again.  
  
Vash's first reaction was to pull away from the kiss. The sheer emotion behind it was intimidating at first, and he knew that it wasn't "right". But when he looked into Knives' eyes, all of the uncertainty he felt melted instantly away, and he leaned in for another kiss.  
  
It didn't matter what anyone else thought. It didn't matter if it was right. He loved his brother in a way he could never love anyone else, and it just felt right. He couldn't believe he had dared to leave him like he had, and he never wanted to do it again. ............................................................................ .....................................................  
  
A/N: Ok! That was the end of my first chapter. Which is actually more of a prologue.. But anyway, I'm working on the second/first chapter of the story, but I'm not going to post it if nobody is going to read it. So, review me, and let me know what you think, ok? 


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